On & Off
by Skylark Evanson
Summary: Because they're on and off, yes and no. But no relationship can be perfect, right? Wally and Dick just want to make it work...
1. It's On

**A/N: So here's some BirdFlash for my girlfriend 'cause it was her birthday this week and I haven't gotten around to posting it yet. So here's a late present for her (:**

**And I've actually had this mildly scripted since mid-August because I wanted to do something good, short, and easy to get in the swing of writing again. That didn't happen, I finished up other fics, and now I get to post it for my babe. Happy birthday.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice or any associated characters.**

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_**On & Off**_

Being hot and bothered is the least of his problems. Being hot and bothered over Wally is the only problem.

Dick can't take it much longer. Really, he's running out of options. More than once, he's just said it and watched as Wally laughed it off with a knowing gleam in his eyes. Those eyes that made Dick melt, that bore holes into his soul.

The laughing made him feel dead inside. He's sick of listening to that laugh when it's one of Artemis's jokes or whenever Megan smiles. Dick hates it. Especially when Wally uses that same laugh whenever his best friend says a quiet "I love you"...

But hey, it doesn't matter: the sky's blue, Gotham's quiet for the night, and he's still got a great best friend. What more can a thirteen-year-old ask for? Dick's doing fine, just fine, and he can get over it- After all, it's just the hormones talking, right?

It's just hormones. Dick brushes it off as he lays in his room, poring over awful Trig homework, bored out of his mind as numbers don't seem to connect with each other and plus signs tilt on invisible axis. One hand goes through his hair and it's suddenly like nothing's making sense anymore. Numbers, words, letters, nothing's connecting, nothing's right.

He blames Wally. There can't be any other cause, just Wally and the damn hormones-

_Buzz. _Phone on vibrate. His pencil is on the textbook and all cosines are forgotten as he reaches for that phone. And sure enough, it's Wally, and his heart feels like it's on fire.

Just hormones. He's not in love with Wally. No, really, he's not. It's just a phase, he'll be fine.

_What're you up to?_

Dick formulates a response like he'd calculate these damn math problems if the numbers would coalesce in his head. He mentions the textbook and math and it all just feels like garbage thrown into a message, but he sends it anyways because he can't say much else.

Even though he wants to say more, he keeps his mouth shut.

He gets back: _Can I ask you something?_

It's almost funny how Wally hasn't reverted into his speedster speak yet when all the words blur together and there are a few forgotten letters every now and then. Dick just sends back "Yeah" and tries to get back to his work. Still, the fractions aren't adding up right and everything looks wrong; he crinkles up his nose and surrenders when another text buzzes in. He checks the sender and it's Wally, so there's no competition when it comes to which of the two things he wants to do more at that moment.

_Do you meanit? When yu sayI love you?_

There was the speedster talk, the way everything's slightly off-

Dick's mind puts it into perspective just before he's about to type up another dull response as if it were a simple question. But it's not. So he sends back "Yeah because you're like family and family's supposed to love each other."

Lies. God, it's a whole bunch of lies and it twists up his heart and he wants to curl up and die because really, it's eating away at him like no one else could imagine. His chest is always tight and he has to keep a censor on his words and suddenly there's a window for opportunity and he has to miss it because he can't ruin what they have, this deeply rooted friendship based on the damn superhero business. Otherwise, a science geek and a mathlete would never find each other in this big world and they wouldn't have friends and it'd be a lonely, quiet existen-

_Buzz._ Wally. The message: _Becuse I lovv you tooo_.

Dick has to mull this over. He sits there for the longest time just staring at that screen knowing that his next words can make or break everything. His fingers hover anxiously over the keys as he waits, thinks, and listens. There's this thrumming sound in his chest, the frantic flipping and fluttering of his heart. He's torn between this friendship and this promise of what could be...

"For real?" asks Dick in his next message.

And the next minutes feel like an eternity. He swears the clock on the wall has slowed down and that twenty seconds pass in the time it takes for that thin hand to tick to the next minute marker and every moment is a lifetime condensed as he stares at that screen and desperately pleads with every deity he can think of to help make sure he hasn't made the worst decision of his entire life and-

_Buzz._ It's Artemis. _So about training tomorrow_

Dick doesn't care, doesn't even bother to read the rest of the text, just kind of throws his phone off to one side and panics more. He can't tell if it's getting hotter in his bedroom or if he's just stressing too much. He pulls off his hoodie and is left in just a t-shirt but he finds it suddenly too cold and-

There's a knock at his window. Outside, a redhead is perched on the ledge, a big grin on his freckled face. There's a glint in those jade orbs that Dick loves so much. And before he can even get off his bed, he reads Wally's lips as he mouths "For real."

And they're on.

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**A/N: Probably a ten-or-so chapter series, first attempt at long-term BirdFlash. So here goes nothing. Leave a review.**

**~Sky**

**P.S. Happy birthday, babe (:**


	2. Off and Over

**A/N: Chapter 2, here goes nothing! So far, it's easier to write than I thought.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice or any associated characters.**

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It takes a solid twenty minutes just to settle Dick down, and all Wally can do is whisper reassurances into the smaller boy's ear and keep him tucked close, quietly kissing his black hair. The speedster puts all his effort into trying to remind Dick that he's loved, that he's wanted, and that he'll be alright. It kills Wally to see him like this, and he only wants to help, but he can't fix what he doesn't understand.

In these twenty minutes, Dick has been reduced to nothing more than tears and heavy breathing along with the occasional gasping sob, his face buried in Wally's chest for safety, if nothing else. Wally holds him close and even rocks him a little bit, back and forth, back and forth...

Eventually, when Dick's gone silent for a while (for more than twenty seconds) and Wally has the courage to ask, he quietly pulls away from his boyfriend and feels the hands on his shirt grip tight, reluctant to let go, afraid to lose him, afraid that if he opens his eyes, Wally won't be there. "Rob, you need to talk to me," the ginger teen murmurs. "I can't help you if you don't say anything."

What are supposed to be words just come out as gasps and Dick's just about crying all over again; Wally lets him tuck in close again, but now Dick's just sitting there holding his boyfriend, tears streaming down his face, silent waterfalls.

All Wally can do is breathe and whisper, "It's going to be fine. Whatever's wrong, we'll get through this." He kisses that crown of black hair; it's as soft as feathers. "Together. I'm here for you, Rob."

Little things like that seem to set him off and now his hold on Wally's shirt is really more like a deathgrip. Only sniffles punctuate the silence that echoes through Mount Justice. Dick can't look into Wally's eyes, not wanting to see the fear and questions that linger there. His voice comes out cracked: "Bruce said I can't see you anymore."

His heart drops to his stomach, and the small ache of hunger in his stomach suddenly evaporates. The thought of not having Dick in his life makes him absolutely numb. Well, it hurts too. His limbs feel numb with shock and yet his heart is screaming, crying, panicking, thrashing, pounding, begging... Wally can't decide how much this heartbreak hurts. It's between life-threatening and earth-shattering.

"He said that it wouldn't be good for the company and that we'd lose sponsors if they knew his ward was gay," Dick continues in a small voice, completely unable to look at his boyfriend. "But there's nothing wrong with it," he defends. His words sound tiny and weak compared to the immense pain that's stabbing into his chest cavity. "It's just love. Is there something so bad about that?" And as he looks up at Wally, something splashes on his face.

"He can't take you away from me," whimpers the speedster, now finding that it's his turn to cling onto Dick for dear life. His hands are bunched up in the acrobat's jacket and he's so unwilling to let go, knowing how much it'll hurt to let go for possibly the last time... "I won't let him!"

"Wally," whispers Dick softly, one hand brushing tears away. "Wally, listen to me. You have to realize that the company is everything to us." His red, puffy eyes were tired but kind as he tried to reassure his boyfriend that it was for the best. "It gives us Batman and Robin, and if there's no Batman and Robin, there's no Robin to be on this team. There won't be a Robin here to see you smile every day. Without Wayne Enterprises, I'd never see you. We'd never have met. I can't turn my back on it now, not after everything it's given me."

Dick doesn't even want to imagine a world where the rules go back to "look but don't touch". If he thought it was painful before to see that boy he loved walking around, it'd be more painful after knowing how sweet he was, how great his hugs were, how kind his words could be. He would miss all of the hugs and touches and glances that they shared. He never wanted to lose these moments, not in this reality, not in his memories.

"Maybe we can secretly-"

Coldly laughing, Dick reminds gently, "World's greatest detective." He wipes another tear, interrupting it's journey down the contours of Wally's freckled face. "I would if we could, but it's not physically possible. How do you think he found out in the first place?" Although a knowing smile is on his lips, his eyes have grown dark and clouded.

"I can't lose you, not after all this waiting. Bruce can't keep us apart." His breath hitches as his heart gives a shudder in his chest. "He can't take you away, Dick."

Now they're just looking into each others' eyes, broken hearts pounding in aching chests that encase sobbing souls. Dick just mumbles, "If only we had a choice..."

Wally tries to blink away tears, but he'storn to pieces on the inside, his whole heart ripped open and exposed. If that jackass of a billionaire really loved his son, he'd risk his company for Dick's happiness. If Bruce cared enough, he'd give Wally a chance to keep it toned down instead of assuming the speedster traits would win out and that the obvious would be in the open. He doesn't know what he'll do with himself now; he'll just be a shell, an empty husk...

Then there are lips on his, soft, smooth, and slow. There isn't a moment of hesitation when Wally reacts naturally, deepening that kiss and running his fingers through that raven hair that he loves so much, wishing that he could keep this moment forever... It kills him, and he just succumbs to Dick, holding onto the Boy Wonder, fists still balled up in his shirt, tears still streaming down his face, as they kiss for the first and last time...

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**A/N: It's really not terrrible, but it's the exact opposite relationship dynamics of my OTP, so... Anyways, drop a review and lemme know how I'm doing with BirdFlash. Thanks for reading, guys.**

**~Sky**


	3. Back On

**A/N: Started this at the beginning of November, NaNoWriMo chewed me up and spit me out, and in my dejection, I finished off the final paragraphs (: Here's another chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own this.**

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They're falling apart at the seams.

Wally feels like a ragdoll whose arms are being ripped away by a little girl. He can imagine a smaller voodoo version of himself with the head just barely hanging on by a thread, and a foot is already missing. He weak and breaking, slowly being torn in two...

Dick is just losing himself. Any sense of focus is gone. Originally where there were numbers that wouldn't click, there are now no longer numbers but just images blurred by tears. He honestly can't make heads or tails of anything at all anymore. Twisted symbols are the least of his problems when he's about ready to tear the book in half out of hate, anger, and heartbreak.

And training doesn't make anything easy. Canary knew nothing of the brief three month relationship, let alone the fact that they're still in love or that they've now been apart for six months and that their resolve fails whenever they're too close to each other. Neither have cracked quite yet, but Dick knows he's too close to breaking to risk close encounters. He doesn't know how Wally's feeling right now, but he always looks upset whenever the bird looks his way, and Dick takes it as Wally's still feeling the same way.

Wally only knows that he's tattered and torn and tired. He misses his bird. He misses that kiss. Mostly, he misses knowing he had that friend right there all the time. And that's why he didn't speak up sooner about his feelings- he was terrified of losing his best friend.

Now he's lost his best friend and he doesn't know where to go from there except to be guilty and afraid; Wally rubs the back of his neck and runs his hands through his hair. He hates it. Why do they have to live this way?

"Robin and Kid Flash," Canary says, announcing their pairs for combat training. Artemis has been paired up with Conner while Kaldur takes on Zatanna. M'gann is off-world for the day.

"No!" protests Wally, knowing he won't be able to handle it. He can't. And when Canary's puzzled eyes and raised brow turn in his direction, he can't meet her gaze. So he forces a cheap excuse: "I mean, Rob and I spar all the time. I'd like to get a chance to go hand-to-hand with Zee, give her a good beat down."

Dinah blatantly ignores his request and instead just tells her pupils to commence their volatile, dangerous dance of punches and kicks.

Robin comes at him first, catching Wally off-guard, making him flush red in the face, his mask unable to hide everything. And the childish voice comes out, "What was that all about?"

Wally pushes himself up off the ground and shakes his head, trying to clear the clouds and fear from his mind. "I just- I can't-"

Robin kneels down and reaches a hand out, his voice dropping low as he says quietly, "I hate this, too."

Wally swallows and gives a silent agreement of a nod. But he can't meet his ex's eyes; the thought of Robin being his ex alone makes his heart hurt. He takes Robin's hand and stands up, shaking out the kinks and cracks and taking a deep breath, waking up his body. He needs to focus. As distracted as he is, he can't let them know how bothered he is by this turn of events...

Robin waits for Kid Flash to strike first this time. And Wally does, a flashing charge that ducks low at the last second, dodging his now-friend's all-too-predictable punch that's coming right for his face. And Wally sits low for a few rapid heartbeats before surging up and finding empty air, Robin already circled around to his backside with what Wally can only assume was a silent flip.

The black-haired boy's voice is a mere murmur in his ear as the acrobat's words say, "I miss you."

A lump forms in the back of Wally's throat, and the bird takes the opportunity of a struck speedster to flip back over to Wally's front side, hands on freckled shoulders, and he folds himself up to slam his feet into Wally's chest.

The ginger knew that black and blue bruises would be blooming on his chest within a few minutes. Right now, he only knows he's on the floor. Because why else would he be staring at the ceiling?

"Kid," calls Canary after watching him fall victim to Robin twice now without even a bit of retaliation, "go clean up and get changed before you end up with a broken bone again."

Wally gets a hand in getting up from Rob and then rubs the back of his neck anxiously, walking out in silence. There's this blackness in his chest, and it's not just from the bruises.

He's out of his uniform and in his briefs and jeans when he hears that voice again, louder here, more certain, no fear. "Bruce says we can try," it tells Wally. "As long as we can keep it quiet. As long as you zeta to the Batcave and we stay away from any sort of press, we can try to make this work."

In some part of Dick's mind, he doesn't think this'll be a long-term thing: he doesn't feel like this can be forever. As much as his heart wants it to be, he also has to stay realistic. And he hates having to be realistic when his heart screams, "Forever! Forever!" Still, after a long, agonizing silence from Wally, Dick asks in an almost timid voice, "Do you want to try again?"

That superspeed kicks in, shocking Dick's system as he suddenly finds his lips melted against those of his emerald-eyed crush, the speedster's arms wrapped tightly around his body, one fitting into the small of his back, the second curled upwards so that finely trimmed fingers can toy with the minuscule black hairs at the nape of Robin's neck. In that moment, everything is perfect and nothing hurts. Strength surges through blood and the adrenaline pours through them, burning fire in their veins.

An eagerness causes Wally to take the lead and all the control he can find in the situation, holding on and never wanting to let go. His mind has been completely absorbed in this kiss and nothing hurts; the guilt swims in the pools of lust, a drop in the ocean. For him, his whole body is functioning on hyperdrive and he can't want this more than he does right now; this hot mess he is, he's become, is craving attention, and every nerve ending wants to feel those small, cold hands crawling across his body, touching his skin, feeling his muscles, all in his hair, everywhere.

And holy crap, Robin's mind is absolutely blown away by the hunger that Wally's displaying, like he's trying to devour Dick in that single kiss and take all the love he can get, as if he can suck it all out through that small space between Grayson's soft, pink lips. The black-haired boy can't hardly breathe after a few moments and has to pull away, gasping for air with a brilliant, beautiful smile brightening his features and bringing a sparkle to those baby blues. Some part of his mind recognizes that Wally's definitely improved; another part asks why, but the question is quickly smothered by the emotions that flood through with Wally's next words:

"Yes," he says, breathless. "Yes, I want to try again." He leans forward and their foreheads touch so that their eyes meet and each boy wears a huge grin. "I've always wanted you, Dick. I've only wanted you."

And Dick leans in again and plops a quick peck on the speedster's chapped lips and is amused when Wally tries to deepen it and the younger pulls away.

Such a tease... Wally listens as Dick continues to explain some of the terms and conditions, and it's sort of sounding like one of those long-ass online contracts that no one ever reads. And soon enough, that guilt pools back up in his stomach again, no longer a drop in the ocean but a sick reality that he can't quite shake...

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**A/N: Leave a review? Thanks!**

**~Sky**


	4. Off Kilter

**A/N: My babe has been dropping less than subtle hints about wanting this updated so here it is ;D**

**Disclaimer: Seriously, still don't own.**

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"You _what_?" hissed Dick through gritted teeth as red bled over his vision, glazing the entire world in crimson.

"I didn't want to! Hell, I didn't even mean to, Rob!" Wally wants to scoop him up in his arms and give him all the love he truly deserved, but cameras meant witnesses and witnesses meant the wrath of Bruce. Quiet. "It just happened, okay?! I didn't want it to happen, but I was vulnerable and weak!" His voice went soft, and his grip on Dick's tensed hands went limp. "You left me alone again."

"At least you told me Artemis was in the picture and explained this whole week's wandering eyes." The red bird's own eyes narrowed briefly before the slits shut out all light. "I just don't know what to do with this information now because you're confused and-"

"I'm _confused_?" asked Wally, exasperation all over his face, annoyance lacing his words, and raging fire in his eyes. "Rob, you left me alone with nowhere to go, nothing to do. I couldn't help, I couldn't sleep, so I just sat there and waited and hoped you'd sort it out and maybe let me back in again! And I'm sorry I was weak and tired of waiting around for something that may not have ever come!"

"Batman wouldn't put me down forever, you should've kn-"

"Don't tell me I should've known!" Kid Flash was barely keeping his voice below a scream. "I don't know Bruce, and sometimes I barely feel like I know you! You get angry, but don't say it, and when you're upset, it doesn't show! How am I supposed to be your boyfriend if you'll barely even let me be your best friend?!"

Robin's lips pursed firmly; brow furrowing, he began to poke the bear with a stick. "So you know Artemis better than me?" he asked. Pointed words, sharp enough to break flesh.

"This isn't about Artemis," growled Wally through gritted teeth. Now his visage blazed scarlet. "This is about us."

"And it should've stayed about us," hissed Dick right back, a cobra ready to strike. To a certain extent, he was about ready to throw a punch.

But hey, Wally was too. One fist was solidly clenched, the other halfway there. He managed an even tone: "It was wrong. I'm ashamed of what I did. I hurt her, I hurt you. I've been feeling miserable about this since the day you came to me and said we could be together again. And I told you, which is more than I could've done, Rob. I could've lied to you. But I never even thought about it."

Hidden blue eyes looked away and found a nice spot on the floor to stare at...

"I wanted you the whole time. I've only ever wanted you, Dick." Any anger was fading fast, like darkness with an approaching dawn. "Whenever when I was with her, I was wishing it was you. Because I have always loved you, and if you doubt that, then I guess you don't know me."

"I know you, Wally, and I know that you care." He let out an irritated sigh and put an hand to his temple to rub away the stress and aggravation and sheer annoyance this was putting on his already-heavy shoulders. "I guess I'm just trying to understand how you could've ever even considered Artemis."

Wally had to mouth soundless words for a few moments in order to properly organize these thoughts in the nicest way possible; he didn't want to upset Dick any more than he already was. "She came onto me. Just flat out kissed me one day. And in that moment, I wasn't thinking of her- I was thinking of you and of our first kiss and how great you'd tasted and how amazing that felt and how slow it'd been and how much I missed that feeling of being that close to you." He swallowed hard. "I wanted her to be you."

"But she wasn't. She isn't." Firm. Harsh.

"I know. She was awful, too much tongue, too fast, and she kept needing air for Christ's sake..."

"Wally."

Dammit. He could never say the right things, especially not when Robin was mad. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm going to tell her it's over and make sure she's aware that she can't touch me again. I only want to be yours, Dick. Don't ever forget that." Wally reached out quickly and gently for his boyfriend's hands, hoping that such a minute gesture could somehow bring them back together...

Dick took one look at Wally's sincere and hopeful face and then pulled away from the ginger teen's grasp. "I know, Wally." He pulled his own arms around himself, trying to hide under invisible wings.

"Dick?"

"Just... end it with Artemis, alright?" The floor was fascinating again. Robin couldn't help but feel the cold envelop him; nothing, no one, was there to keep him warm

"I will," came the speedster's prompt promise.

"Good." And the little bird began to pull himself away from the situation, slowly moving towards the door so that he could leave this horrible memory behind, just one more bad scene seared into his brain.

"Are we okay?" asked Wally pitifully from the doorframe as Dick continued to move away, never stopping, not slowing, just a steady, stagnant pace through the dark halls of Mount Justice, dark cape blending him into blackness.

The voice replied from the shadows, "I don't know."

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**A/N: An update for my babe. Hope it tore at your heart strings ;) Thanks for reading, everyone! Leave a review!**

**~Sky**


	5. On Top

**A/N: Updating for Valentine's Day because I failed to write anything else. Sleep deprivation is winning.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice.**

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That was last year.

This year, with Dick finally fifteen and Wally already at eighteen, they're curled up together on a couch in Wayne Manor; Dick still isn't quite as tall as Wally and gets to be on the top with the speedster's arms wrapped comfortably around his torso. The heat radiating between them is enough to keep them both warm despite the brisk cold that is the manor.

"If I asked you to get up and make me a sandwich right now, would you?" questioned Wally, his words bored and tired, although not because of Dick. More so because of the fact that there had been no relevant hero activity for him to really get hands-on with in the past few weeks and he was pretty exhausted with how much real-world work he'd been getting done lately. Working on getting his head into college and focusing on finding a decent job halfway across the country. Thank God for zeta tubes or else he'd never see Dick.

"Hell no," says the acrobat with a twinge of a laugh hanging onto his voice. A big smile is spread across his face as he stares up at the bright white ceiling; his own hands are clasped over Wally's at his stomach. "You can get up and make your own sandwich, Flashpants."

Wally lifts his head up, with much strain, just enough to have his lips at Dick's ear: "I thought we agreed you weren't going to call me that anymore, _Boy Wonder_." He places a gentle kiss on the back of his lover's neck before laying his head to rest again against the under-stuffed couch's overly fluffy pillows.

"Nightwing," growls Dick both playfully and with some mild aggression. "Jason's getting to play Robin now. I'm ready for my own act. You've gotta trust that." Still, he's biting back a yawn while saying this. This solo act, for the past few weeks, has really been eating up his sleep. Not even naps during study hall are getting him through it. High school and heroing is, quite frankly, kicking his ass. He hasn't had time to focus on much outside of fighting, training, and getting to class. Homework is out of the question.

"Still, I worry about you, D." He drums a little bit on the rock-hard surface of Richard's abdomen. He's seen those sculpted muscles and is so damn curious as to why no one's made a statue of him yet. "You've been pushing yourself really hard lately. Three detentions for sleeping during class and you've missed two patrols with Artemis this month already." Wally sighs gently while moving one thumb along the side of Dick's hand in a comforting gesture. "You should think about cutting back, letting Blüdhaven go for just one more night. A few more hours of sleep wouldn't-" Okay, the phrase "wouldn't kill" was most definitely not appropriate in this context because the chances were good that someone would die no matter what- that was the way this world worked.

"I'm fine," breaths the high school senior, exhaling for himself before letting those pristine blue eyes fall tightly shut. He tries to push all that stress to the back of his mind and focus on this moment here with Wally, where he can smell his boyfriend's sweaty musk and just feel the comfort that is his presence. "I just need time to adjust to pulling my own weight in a foreign place. Blüdhaven is just a start." He settles himself down more comfortably on Wally, which results in some squirming of the hips, which are just perfectly at Wally's own hips.

The speedster's quick response is a grunt and a "Dick, careful." Because Jesus, they're in Wayne Manor and the other three members of the Bat Family are home, not to mention the ever-present butler and they couldn't take care of a necessary situation if the problem arose...

"Sorry," grumbles Dick in his soft voice with tight lips. "Didn't mean to." But now, maybe he wishes he did...

The ginger takes a few quick seconds to cool himself off to make sure nothing gets out of hand. Then he places another kiss on the back of Dick's neck. "I'm concerned for your health, D. I want you to be happy and safe, and I want you to get enough sleep at night. This three or four hours shit isn't enough. Even five would be better." He sighs softly and traces a few little patterns along those gorgeously hard abs of Nightwing's. Where's a sculptor when you need one? "You need to take better care of yourself. Or else Blüdhaven won't have a hero at all."

Dick doesn't feel like arguing, but he's not gonna let Wally get the best of him. Still, a sigh of exhaustion does make an escape. "I can't just cut out, Walls. I'm busy managing the team and-"

"That doesn't matter. What matters first is you." Wally readjusts and consequently tightens his grip on Grayson, that possessive side kicking in. He wanted to have a happy, healthy, less exhausted boyfriend. Because really, the sex wasn't nearly as good when Dick was exhausted. "You need more sleep, Dick. Take the night off of patrol. You're too stressed to be dealing with all this right now."

"Wally, I can manage," murmurs Dick, feeling that tightness of Wally's attached grip, and he feels more and more like a giant teddy bear. "We all have to manage and suffer through the harder things in life. This is just mine and it's a little bit more difficult than most."

"And life-threatening."

"Wally."

The speedster shifts his legs and takes a firmer hold on Dick's calloused hands. "D, I love you too much to let you keep pushing yourself. I'll have to go to Bruce soon if-"

The acrobat shifts too, but his movement is more towards his hips. This has shut Wally up very, very quickly. "Now can you please be quiet and just enjoy the moment?" asks Grayson. "We finally get some time together and you're chastising me. Let's just be together for a few minutes. Please." He turns his head to the side and feels Wally peck his cheek, and he still gets that bubbly feeling in his chest and that totally whelmed smile just because he knows it's Wally who's there with him, and that in itself is plenty to make him happy.

There are a few minutes where Wally and Dick just lay there and bask in a golden silence, when the world is at peace, there's no hate, no war, just this love and all that it encompasses. Dick's content; he feels complete. Wally's enamored; Dick loves him.

The speedster finally speaks up, breaking that crisp quiet that unsettles loud people like him. "Do you think we can last forever?" questions the ginger, finally stopping his fingers from playing with the washboard of Richard's torso.

He realizes quickly after a moment of silence and zero response that Dick Grayson is asleep on top of him. Wally smiles to himself proudly and even indulges himself by shutting his own jaded eyes and listening to the beauty that is his boyfriend's rhythmic breathing and absorbing the heat of his human blanket.

There's no better way to spend an afternoon, he decides. Especially because when he wakes up, Dick's making him a sandwich.

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**A/N: Review? Thank you for reading!**

**~Sky**


	6. Offed

**A/N: I promised myself to make this one hurt. I know it may seem off-base, but I feel like it grasps the continuity I want to follow with this fic. And I can't properly follow that continuity without completely fleshing out this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice or any associated characters.**

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**Offed**

The rain pours down like the sky's tears, like even Gaia is in mourning. Of course, she isn't, they all know it, but the somber sky and wet air make it feel that way and Dick certainly knows the world should be crying with the loss of someone so great.

_There's this bloody corpse in his arms, still warm and slightly charred. Uniform burned to a crisp in areas while in others, fire has engulfed skin, devoured bone, and swallowed entire limbs. Dick can still feel the warmth of blood that used to pump through now useless veins and he wants to be able to breathe life back into this dead body, but he can't, what's dead is dead, and what's dead must stay dead. Death is unending._

The sky is not crying. The sky is raining. Moisture collected into summer clouds, and when it's finally heavy enough, the sky lets go and the water breaks free, much like tears. But raindrops are not tears. The world is not in mourning.

The world is not in mourning. Much of the world doesn't even know, and many simply don't care. Vigilante, hero, either way, he was a person. A person with a heart, a soul, and a mind. People matter, no matter who they are, big or small, young or old. And he was too young to go. There was so much life left to live, so much of the world left to explore, the world that would not mourn for him.

_Masks do not mask tears. His mask is soaked by the end of it. He's sobbing over a body. There is no more life here. The only spark of such is the dying embers of a lingering fire. Charred ground marred by a bomb. Boom. Gone. Just like him. Boom. Gone. Bye-bye Birdy._

_"I'm so sorry, Jason…"_

The grave stands outside of Wayne Manor. Another is already in the works at the Hall of Justice for the grotto. It will stand beside Tula's. And Ted Kord's. Dick can't keep a dry eye for more than a second because as soon as he wipes away one tear, another is right there to replace it. He doesn't cope well with loss; he should, really, but he doesn't.

There are so many things in the world he's taken for granted. His own life, for one. He should've died when he was nine. He takes Bruce's life for granted because if Bruce had died alongside his parents, Dick probably would've offed himself by now. And then who would've been there for Jason? Who would've helped another poor little kid? And he takes his team for granted, his extended family, all these faces and names and people who're more than happy to protect him with their own lives and something he will do in return without blinking an eye. He should appreciate them more, he realizes as he kneels in the rain over a little bird's grave, because they could disappear at any moment.

Jason's grave is separated from Thomas and Martha's. Dick knows that Bruce doesn't take in family as easily as he does, but he does wish that Bruce had offered Jason more peace and a better place. The shade of the oak tree was kind, but the sunlight was kinder, a place where he could shine, which is all he ever wanted to do. He wanted to be the best and nothing less.

The acrobat wipes his eyes again. The rain drips off his hair and onto his face. He's drenched from head to toe. His sweater sticks to his skin.

The world is slow. Raindrops touch his skin and glide away. He sees shadows as the light shifts with the moving clouds. Dark days arise on dark occasion, he thinks, but there's no real evidence of that. Weather patterns and- He's not Bruce, he doesn't need statistics. He feels.

There's a hand on his shoulder, that's what he feels right now. "Jeez, you're soaked." And then Wally's shrugging off his jacket and putting it around Dick's shoulders at least to shield him from some of the rain. There's really no help in keeping him warm now because they'll both be soaked within a few minutes, but maybe it's just the thought that counts at this point.

Just like the togetherness of this moment. Wally has no idea what to say, has no idea what he can say, but he does know that being there counts for something. With Dick, it probably counts for a lot. He thrives on people and family and love and hope and help. Dick is so different from anyone he's ever met, even when he's mourning.

Wally was there for the funeral, of course. He cried too. It was emotional. A young kid, barely twelve, dead. He'd come into the hero life and died for the hero life. A futile mission and a child had died. A child. Jason. A Robin. And he'd known Jay too. He was rough around the edges, much more rugged than his predecessor, but he was bright and willing and eager to please. Too eager.

And at the funeral, Dick had stood up there and gave a pretty kickass eulogy. Dick stood there and smiled the best he could through watery eyes and didn't actually shed a single tear. Instead, he went home with Wally and they cried on the couch and held onto each other, desperate to make sure they were both still alive because it could've been one of them, it could've been them, but it wasn't, and they were alive, and they needed to bask in that moment.

Dick was alive. Wally was alive. And they'd made it. And Dick cried into Wally's chest, holding onto the only static thing he could find in his life anymore.

"Wally…"

"Alfred called me," says the ginger softly, crouching down to be at his boyfriend's level; he tries to keep his gaze away from the grave. "I'm not here to herd you inside. I'm just here for you." He put an arm around Dick's shoulders just as the rain was starting to really drench his hoodie. "If you need to talk or if you just need someone to be here with you. Or you can tell me to leave, that's fine too. I just want you to know I'm here."

"I know you're here, Wally." Terse words as Dick carefully removed Wally's arm from around him. "But now's really not a great time for consoling."

"Okay. I'll head inside then." Wally stands back up again and brushes his hands off on his jeans. He leaves his jacket around Dick. "Save you some cookies?"

His mind is elsewhere. A place where there's a corpse and fire and an innocent boy who never deserved to die…

_He'd spent the first two minutes of the drive on his bike screaming at the communicator and hoping that some weak sound would come through, some sign of life. M'gann clocked in a minute later and asked him to stop yelling so much and told him that she couldn't find Robin after a mental scan._

_He pulled into the lot and found his Martian teammate floating nearby while her Kryptonian counterpart moved rubble and rubbish away from the blast site. Maybe they could find him alive, maybe there was still time, maybe they could…_

_The mental link crashed as soon as Dick got there. M'gann's automatic link-up had been a bad idea because all Superboy and Miss Martian could see behind their eyes were two bodies falling through the air in incredibly familiar suits… blue and black… M'gann shut it down and let Nightwing have his privacy in his own mind. Conner continued to dig._

_And within minutes, they found that charred corpse. He was too young to try and go in undercover. The biggest smuggling ring and they were just trying to find the top dog, and everything had gone horribly wrong and he went off and now he was dead, a bloodied corpse, missing a leg, his mask ripped off, that one green eye left open to stare up into Dick's tear-stained face, asking why he hadn't been saved, why no one had helped him, why he had to die…_

"_Jason… God, Jason, I'm so sorry…"_

"D?"

Wally's voice pierces his thoughts and he just wants to curl up and sleep in the rain and feel it so cold against his body, not like fire but like death trying to freeze him. "No. Just go home."

Biting his lip for a second before responding, Wally finally says, "No."

"Go home."

"I want to be here for you." For once, Wally's going to take a stand. His voice is like steel, and he won't back down. "Whether you need me or not."

"I won't need you." Dick's hands are now in the pooling mud all around him. His jeans are surely going to be stained brown and he'll need a new sweater and Wally's jacket is only making him feel worse. "I don't need you."

For a long moment, Wally goes silent. "What?"

He can't bring himself to get up. He can't bring himself to look into those green eyes he loves too much. He can't even get up to hold him one last time. He can't pull himself together. Dick's broken in this moment and no amount of caressing or hope or help will ever put him back together again. Wally is a far cry from any recovery he'll need. "I don't need you."

Fear flashes across green eyes. His fists clench. "Dick, we're not doing this again."

"I've been thinking about this a lot, Wally. It's not about you and it's not about me-"

"Dick, we are not doing this again." His lower lip is quivering. He's actually going to really cry this time because he knows this is all some kind of mindgame Dick's trying to get going so that he can justify Jason's death, but he's just blaming it all on himself and this pain is going to drive him insane and Wally won't lose Dick again, he won't, he _can't_. "Now shut the hell up about that. I'll be inside."

"I don't want you to hurt if I go. I don't want you to lose me, I want you to lose Nightwing. I want you to hurt less."

"Stop talking."

"And I don't want to lose Wally. I'd rather lose Kid Flash than the guy I'm in love w-"

Jesus Christ, Wally wants to just fall down into the mud and not get back up because he's so done with this, he's so tired of getting the Bat side of Dick, he wants his boyfriend, his love, his Robin, this cheery little kid that he fell in love with. Dick's seventeen now, but he has yet to really outgrow any of his childish things, still he can't cope with death and he's now losing his mind and deciding that he cannot love what he may lose…

And love. Love. They started this relationship by saying "I love you" but it never loses meaning, and Wally hates how Dick still sees this as love even when it has to end.

"-I can't do this again, Wally. I can't lose you. I can't lose Bruce. I'm losing my mind and I barely knew Jason. I barely knew Tula but nothing has ever hurt so badly for a long time. I don't want to lose what I love. Because everything I love dies."

"And I'm not afraid to die," says Wally softly. "I will never stop loving you even if you want me to. It'll still hurt when you die. It'll still hurt when I see you injured. It's always going to hurt if we still love each other."

"I'll never stop loving you."

"Dick, shut up, stand up, and get your ass inside. I'm not dealing with this right now. You're going to get pneumonia." The ginger was really just planning on leaving him out there and sheltering him from the worst of the rain, but that's over now and Wally's putting his damn foot down. "I love you and you aren't going anywhere any time soon and neither am I. So let's get the fuck inside."

"Wally, go home."

Instead of even thinking about leaving, Wally kneels down and gets very close to Dick, holding his breath. "You're crazy, you know that?"

"I don't want to miss you." His voice is neutral, bored, tired.

"But I'll always miss you." Wally leans over and kisses Dick's temple and lets out a long sigh. "I'll see you at training on Monday. Get your head on straight." He stands up and heads for the manor, knowing that the zeta beam can get him home faster than running. He sticks his hands in his jean pockets and keeps his head down. His boyfriend does not yell for him, and Wally leaves for Keystone.

When Dick stands up almost an hour later, Wally's jacket falls off his shoulders. He looks at it and blinks slowly, trying to remember exactly what happened because he just feels this gaping hole in his chest. He picks it up. It smells of Wally.

"I miss you."

The world is not mourning.

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**A/N: Review?**

**~Sky**


	7. On His Doorstep

**A/N: Another chapter because it feels like it's been forever since I've written anything.**

**Disclaimer: Still not owning YJ.**

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**On His Doorstep**

For the third time this week, Dick shows up at Wally's door. He is shaky and shivering and upset and surprisingly sober for his state, but he's there nonetheless and he stares deeply into Wally's eyes for the longest of moments and sees worry trickle into those green pools and swirl around and dance with concern until the redhead finally steps out into the fading daylight and takes his lover into his arms and lets Dick cry because that's all he ever needed to do.

Dick just comes over to cry. There's no one else who knew how fragile his psyche was- he's broken, and the slightest touch could shatter him, like dropping a pane of glass or a mirror. Yet it's Wally who grabs him without hesitation and with open arms and pulls him in and touches him without shattering him.

Face buried in Wally's neck, tears streaming down his face, Dick let his weight onto his boyfriend and Wally just carries him to the couch and settles them down side-by-side. In the peace of those silent, lonely moments, Dick cries. Wally never speaks, never says anything beyond asking if he wants water or food. The speedster embraces his lover and lets the world keep spinning around them while the time in that room stands perfectly still. The clock is surprisingly silent.

It's been something near three weeks since Jason's death. It had only rained once in Gotham since, Wally checked the weather regularly, but Dick always came over with drenched hair and even wetter eyes. The tissue box on the table had already been replaced once, Wally notices as he wraps one arm delicately around Dick whilst hoping he doesn't take it as a romantic gesture.

There was never any mention of their supposed split, not on the past three visits, not in this sorrowful moment. Wally's been tiptoeing around physical affection beyond the simplicity of human contact. He wants to pull Dick into his chest and offer him real comfort, but he has to revert back to best friend instead of boyfriend despite how badly he wants to breathe in Dick's shampoo and feel his radiating warmth and touch those impeccable biceps. Wally let it go, pretending they were friends; if he was wrong, Dick would surely correct him eventually.

But for now, the dulled sounds of the outdoor world find their way into Barry and Iris's home. Trees scratching at windows like a car wanting inside and enough birds to make a brilliant song for Carnegie Hall. Wally listens to those and the heaving breaths that part Dick's chapped lips and leave his lung screaming for good air.

It shouldn't be like this- it shouldn't.

Because they've been best friends forever, Wally should know Dick like the back of his hand. And if he's right, Dick should be recovering from losing Jason by now. He probably wouldn't be working in the field yet, probably running missions more than anything else. But he'd at least be back on his feet and trying to get back or at least throw the Joker behind bars. Something, anything! And yet he's here crying on Wally's shoulder, a lost child, a broken soul.

Dick's secretly a china doll, Wally swears by it. Some look tough when painted right, and when he's got his mask and cape on, Nightwing is not one to be messed with. Underneath that, he's pale as porcelain and as beautiful as any china doll. He's breakable because he's human. He's fragile because he's already cracked before, and none of that can ever be fully restored to its former glory. But he's still strong enough to last. Richard Grayson is so much more than people realize. But Wally knows.

"I'm sorry."

Two simple words destroy the silence between them and decimate the quiet of the room. Somehow, it feels like he just nuked the place.

Wally freezes up for a second, hearing his love's voice for the first time in a while.

"I've just put you through Hell for the past month," whispers Dick, clinging so tightly to Wally that it almost feels like they're together again. Almost. "I've been hung up on myself and I don't want it to hurt if we lose each other-" He sniffles pathetically and that alone pulls on Wally's heartstrings. "-but it's the business. We won't leave it or save ourselves, we just do what we can and make the best of it." Dick's words shake like a shivering child; Wally wants nothing more than to wrap him up in a blanket and hold him tight. "I should be more upset about the fact that I lost my brother and that I let down a teammate instead of worrying about us." His lips twist up before he clarifies with, "I mean, I'm both. I just should be talking with Bruce about it and helping Babs recover and focusing on the future instead of thinking of ways to protect my heart and yours, but we can't work miracles and we can't save everyone."

There was a long, silent pause before Dick murmurs, "I learned that a long time ago."

And this new round of crying comes from his chest, the pit of his stomach, and the most secure parts of his heart and he's pouring his guts out because everything just hurts and he aches and he's never wanted anything more than to take Jason up in his arms and bandage his infected wounds and give him the stinkeye for not following the mission parameters and stare into those hateful green eyes and still see hope. Hope. Wasn't that all anyone ever had?

All Dick hopes is that Wally can forgive him for being such an ass. He's been a spoiled little brat that didn't want his shiny toys taken away so he gave them up instead to have an upper hand and outsmart the opponent. But Fate doesn't work that way, so Dick could only plead for what he once had right in his hands, what was now slipping through his fingers, away, away, forever...

Wally hasn't let go of him and simply tucks the acrobat's face into his chest and lets those tears soak his shirt and skin, but he doesn't care. That's the funny thing about relationships: when you really love someone, the only thing that matters is that they love you back. Pain in the ass, stick in the mud, or even just a dick, if they love you back with the entirety of their heart, none of that should matter.

Dick has never stopped loving Wally, and the speedster knew that from the very second his acrobat tried to send him off; he knew it when Dick showed up at his doorstep the first few times with tears creating thin, salty waterfalls along his gypsy features; and he sure as hell knows it now, the boy tucked safely into his arms with his heart open and vulnerable for Wally to see, etched into his sleeve with every opportunity to be hurt.

"Don't worry," whispers Wally, squeezing his boyfriend a bit tighter as they hold each other like lovers do. "I've got you."

He's weak and small and being beaten around, but he's got someone in his corner, ready to pick him up and shove him back into the big, scary world with only a moment's reprieve in warm arms. Dick has never been more grateful to have Wally in his life.

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**A/N: Leave a review, please?**

**~Sky**


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